Remember – ‘Making Dreams Real?’ – Uckfield have!

Doing a talk for this wonderful Community Organisation Monday 13th!

Rotary1120

‘Making Dreams real’ was the strap-line for Rotary International President D.K. Lee (from South Korea) in Rotary year 2008 to 2009. Yes, yes, I know, RI Presidents come and go. But sometimes a club takes up a project, and it becomes a fixture for that club. RC Uckfield is one such. Also to commemorate paratrooper Daniel Gamble, who was killed in Afghanistan in 2008. The club invites young people from the town once a year to apply for £1,000 to fund their dream.

This year there were two applications the club wanted to fund, Natalie Armitage, who is taking up a 3 month placement with the South African Institute for Justice and Reconciliation. she has already worked in this area (peace & reconciliation), and the placement will assist her career plans.

Also Laura Critchley, a young nurse, who is going to Katmandu in Nepal to visit and assist with…

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A message to all contributors:

A message to ALL contributors:

The dissertation was submitted on the 15th September and I now work for the Vitol Foundation that provides larger grants, that are making an incredible impact on the ground in developing regions across the world. The focus areas are Education, Health, Livlihoods and WASH (Water Sanitation and Hygiene) and emergency responses. More can be learnt about them here:http://www.vitol.com/about-us/vitol-foundation/

The perks are in the process of being made. Everyone should receive their gifts, personalised to them, by the end of next month.

THANK YOU for allowing this project to happen, once the dissertation has been marked by University of Sussex copies shall be distributed for people to read.

Thank you to the Institute for Justice and Reconciliation for the most interesting three months of my life!

The blog shall be periodically updated, thank you for signing up.

Stay tuned.

Moments stored in Memory

Hello all.

Apologies that my blog posts have been sporadic but I am immersed in my dissertation. I know that is important to keep everyone up to date so here is a brief of what has been going on.

I have been asked by Soroptomist International to give e presentation at their regional meeting in Maidstone on Saturday 20th September. It will be about 30 minutes and I am incredibly nervous. I was told by Jaque that a lot of people have been following my blog whilst I have been away which is great and I am looking forward to meeting some of you in person.

It is quite overwhelming to take in the year I have had, from my initial acceptance at IJR, the fundraising campaign, the module work, essays, trip in South Africa, collection of data, and I feel very emotional tying it all together in one last piece. I watched my classmates hand theirs in for the earlier deadline and saw them celebrate…not long until its my turn! One thing the year has taught me: perseverance, hard work, faith and a positive mental attitude…wholly pays off in the end. 

I would like to share with you an interview I did with Tazneem Wentzel from the Burning Museum Arts Collective. I met Tazneem at the wall pasting she did of Ashley Kriel in Bonteheuwel in celebration of his life…mentioned in a previous blog. I was inspired by her work, and intrigued at how it really tied in with what I had learnt in class about memorialisation. How memory and ‘truth’ is preserved has a heavy impact on the narratives that get taught to future generations. What is interesting about Burning Museum, apart from their incredible street art work- is the contribution that they have to building an inclusive narrative of the past. What their work also does; is challenge perceptions of the present day by engaging with the spaces that they are in.

Ashley Kriel wall pasting, Bonteheuwel 9th July 2014

1) How did you become invoked with the Burning Museum?

I became involved in Burning Museum by accident I think. I met Grant Jurius, who had this idea of a collective, and with my interest in history, research and writing, it kind of happened from there.

2) Could you explain a little bit about what the concept behind the arts collective is about?

Basically, each one of us have various interests. This ranges from visual arts, to anthropology, to curating. The idea behind the collective is to engage with the notion of centre and periphery visually, textually, per formatively. We try to think about where we come from, the spaces that we currently occupy and engage with that. We have a shared experience of dislocation, an experience which has been passed through our families. We try to engage with history, and stories putting these stories up for everyone to see. The city is our museum.

3) How did you learn how to wheat paste?
Grant works in wheat pastes and we all learnt from him.

4) Which piece are you the most proud of and why?
The piece that I am most proud of is the one with the 2 boys with the 1913 land act layered into it. Opposite the figures is the outline in the land act. This is my favourite because of the location, the narrowness of the walls. I like the proximity, the way the street looks and the way the images blend into the architecture of the space. Also, I love the way the boys look, their style and what their presence means to the space, how the space works into the visual. The location is as much a part of the piece as the piece itself. The location being in Woodstock, which is quickly changing with gentrification. A lot can be read into the placement, and why we have layered the 1913 land act into the image. How you read it is up to you.

5) How can people get a hold of you to work with you in the future?
I guess, our work is for the people who see it. Its in some way not meant to be bought but appreciated by the public. Maybe we would consider doing commissions. But, for the most part we are focussed on placing everyday stories, familiar faces, and nostalgia back into the concrete and stone of the city. Our work are historical triggers.

As you will read from the previous blog post- I attempted to make political sense of why the murial we did of Mandela for international Mandela day was torn down by young people. Tazneem said this:

People ripping burns off is a way or life. Its not meant to last forever. For me the beauty of it, is that it is fleeting and vulnerable. Once you capture that moment you have it stored in memory.

 

 

 

 

 

A HISTORIC DAY FOR SAFETY & JUSTICE IN KHAYELITSHA AND BEYOND!

A HISTORIC DAY FOR SAFETY & JUSTICE IN KHAYELITSHA AND BEYOND!.

Tear it down.

Home.

I reached London on Saturday last week and I have been adjusting and jumping straight into the swing of things as soon as I got back. Dissertation time, and it really is no joke. I completed about 25 interviews with phenomenally interesting people and sitting around with earphones in having to transcribe and pick apart and analyse however deeply fascinating- is going to take a long time. I have until the 15th September now to complete it!

Today, I received some sad news. Nomsa (Africa Sinomusa Foundation) regretfully informed me that the wall murial that we pasted in Khayelitsha was destroyed. I do have pictures (lots left to upload) but I didn’t get the time to go and visit it one last time myself. This is sad for the campaign, but also raises a lot of important questions too.

I could accept that the wall of images of Mandela and a young person in front of Mandela was ‘some drunk’ or ‘some disrespectful kids’ or ‘youth’ and all of those might be correct. They see a picture that is starting to weather and they decide to tear it down out of, boredom? Why ever people argue that vandalism happens. Perhaps we could label that as the cause.

I take an alternative perspective on this news. It was a political image. And it is hard not to politicise the reaction to it. Anger and resentment are still held onto, for a man than many still believe was a ‘sell-out’. This is not something anyone wants to entertain the thought of for too long- but the reality is for a lot of people, that is the truth.

I can’t say that I utterly agree that Madiba ‘sold out’… he only had one lifetime and was still only a human being himself and dealt with it how he did. But if we want to open a discussion: I completely understand why people think he did.

If you are a young black man who is approaching teenage years and missed Madiba’s lifetime- finding yourself in Khayelitsha, identifying with your community, understanding yourself and the surroundings that is your home; will inevitably throw up some anger. I imagine, the first thing you have to accept is that there is a range of injustice against you not just in your own country but across the whole world, simply for being black. Life chance and expectancy is lower, access to education is harder, risk of HIV is higher, healthcare is too expensive, employment is underpaid and no matter wherever you go in the country although you are legally allowed to roam- places and people and stereotypes are still so alive and deeply entrenched that somewhere along the line, you are bound to realise that a lot of people don’t really see you as a human but as the colour of your skin. Being black, is something I can only imagine. Not being black, does not stop me from hearing and seeing how the rest of society and the world interprets black people.

Its not ok, to assume, that just because black people have the vote they have received equality. It is not ok to argue that the resentment and anger black people feel is not justified. It certainly is not ok, to justify your own fear of black people with a stereotype about them. ‘Us’ and ‘them’ can work both ways. Not just in South Africa but across the globe.

It has come to my understanding that there is one thing in the world that white people fear more than a black majority: a conscious, angry black majority.

Fear; of an armed, angry, tortured and traumatised people calls for emergency pacification. Reconciliation helps with that. Although with all the healing in the world, anger will never go away as long as people face injustice everyday. Apartheid collapsed but in terms of reconciliation- the symptoms are easier to cure than the cause. 

I am sad that whoever ripped down the wall murial of Mandela we pasted felt as though the images on that wall were worth so little to them. No matter how strongly I disagree and am upset about it, I do understand. Tearing that image down may have been reckless and unconscious, but I highly doubt that it was.

Mandela forgave on behalf of everyone; it was unreasonable to take that right and choice from away from individuals that faced even further exclusion if they did not comply.

The positive I take from this: A new generation of consciousness is evolving. 

Hamba Kahle

Always seems impossible until its done.

And just like that, August arrived.

Apologies for not updating on Friday, it was my last day at the IJR which was great but full of emotion. In the morning we completed our 67 minutes for Mandela Day and went around feeding the soup we made to the homeless, and it was time to say goodbyes. Cecyl Esau gave me a quote that I shall treasure to make sense of times. He said it was a quote that he learnt and remembered on the island.

“To meet, to know, and then to part- is the great arrow of the human heart.” Rudyard Kipling.

No matter what point of life you are in or who you are with, there are moments. What you experience right now, is all there is. Anything else in the mind is just that. Reality can only be found in the present moment and it is important to live in it, experience it, love whoever you are loving in that time to your fullest capacity- and learn to let it go. You may see the same people again in your life, you may not, but to be with them in your fullest capacity in the moments that you have been granted together, is a blessing. That is life I believe. Time changes everything all the time. It can also be applied to social history.

“Nelson Mandela has gone.” said Sisonke Msimang. As she said it, quarrels and debates and arguments to and fro dissipated and there was silence. This was at a conference I went to in my last week at IJR called ‘Is it time to forgive?’ Her words hung in the air.

I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. I remember the feeling, and what I did the next day. I got up and I emailed the IJR to send my condolences and urge them again to consider my application. On the 10th December 2013 they said yes.

Since that time, I wrote 25 letters, made 40 cakes and 40 samosas and spring rolls, 1 online campaign, 4 youtube videos, 30 tweets, 875 Facebook friends 1 group and had 95 donations. I sent 1000s of messages of what I want to do, started 1 blog, raised £2500 over a target, had 5 news articles published about me. Since being here, I attended about 10 events, worked 3 months at the IJR, met countless new people, conducted 20 interviews, wrote 2 pieces myself, organised 1 wall murial with 2 pastings of Mandela for 30 children to print their hands next to in Khayelitsha and sent 60 postcards to say thank you and enjoyed far too many moments for me to count. I did it, I finished my placement. All the information that needed to write a worthwhile dissertation on reconciliation is in my hands.

20 years on from the introduction of reconciliation in South Africa, things have happened. What they are, how they take place and if they make any difference are things that I am going to write about.

I collected data, interviewed people, observed taking notes, recorded and visited events, attended workshops, meet new people, made more connections. Travelling in and out of the townships, making sense of what I can psychologically- learning how others cope with the sharp imbalance has been the struggle. It has formulated a solid of idea of what to write. I studied Human Rights because ultimately, everyone should have them.

This blog shall be updated sporadically as time moves a long and as I get the chance to upload what I can as I write the final leg, but thank you. There are some people (who probably know who they are) that believed in the beginning I could do this and it is because of their support that I have.

Here is a picture of myself with Mary Marie Burton, ex TRC Commissioner that I interviewed at her house in Rondebosch. A true honour that I shall treasure forever.

http://instagram.com/p/rE2L6oKbYl/

This weekend, I had organised with Nomsa from the Africa Sinomusa Foundation an event for the children and youth groups that they work with. We have done it before, we knew the drill, and we organised for a handful of volunteers to come and help children paste their handprint on a wall in Mandela Park, Khayelitsha. It was a success. Burning Museum did a marvellous piece of art that I will publish on this blog soon. I can’t believe that after 5 years of going home and moving on with my life, I have been given the opportunity to come back.

Thank you.

International Mandela Day

Warmest greetings.

Today, I am going to celebrate writing. I was given a book to read by my manager Dr. Tim Murithi (Head of Justice and Reconciliation Africa Programme) called ‘I Write What I Like’ by Steve Biko. He had caught a few of these blog posts and lent it to me, which I am enjoying greatly. What it has confirmed to me even more- is the power of ideas, writing and sharing of knowledge. Especially in a day and age where we can share the written word on a global platform- instantly. Social Media, is the new media. Agency, is in the power of the people that write. There is no reason not to write.

Firstly, I want to celebrate the success of a dear friend of mine. Zyaan Davids is someone very special. Her soft voice is in direct contrast with the power that the words have that come out. Our minds connected very quickly and we have had some incredible discussions since I have arrived here. She was a new friend when I started, then a good friend- now I can comfortably regard her as a sister for life. She wrote a piece that was published in This is Africa, and I am so proud to know first hand, how much sense she talks: ‘We have yet to heed Mandela’s urgent call’ 

Another special woman that I wish to celebrate is a dear friend of mine Alia Al Ghussain. I have known Alia for almost a year now, and her powerful nature is inspiring. For her placement module of our course, she put herself in a situation that few people are prepared to do to engage with conflict countries on the ground. She wrote this article from Ramallah, which is such an insightful piece for anyone that has become over saturated with mainstream media. This type of reporting is crucial for the international community to get a grip of- in order to critically assess the controversial arguments of the Israeli- Palestinian conflict that has erupted worldwide. Read her article here: ‘A Diary Entry from Palestine: why we don’t need ‘balance”

A great inspirational writer died aged 90. Nadine Gordimer spoke of how “details make a world” and, in addressing profound questions of a writer’s social responsibility, she gave us the term “witness literature”. She wrote about crucial issues, an penned ideas that serve to inspire us all long after she has passed away.

Time and published books confirmed that I was a writer, and witness literature, if it is a genre of circumstance of time and place, was mine. I had to find how to keep my integrity to the Word, the sacred charge of the writer.

We must not forget the power of the written word. It outlasts life, time, distance, history, and remains in the minds of the reader well beyond the circumstances it originated from.

This is my contribution to remembering Mandela’s principles and why I believe that writing is important:

“You sharpen your ideas by reducing yourself to the level of the people you are with and a sense of humour and a complete relaxation, even when you’re discussing serious things, does help to mobilise friends around you. And I love that.” – From an interview with Tim Couzens, Verne Harris and Mac Maharaj for Mandela: The Authorised Portrait , 2006, 13 August 2005

Words of Mandela’s extremely powerful ‘I am prepared to die’ speech outlives his life on earth and remains a part of human history.

The Government often answers its critics by saying that Africans in South Africa are economically better off than the inhabitants of the other countries in Africa. I do not know whether this statement is true and doubt whether any comparison can be made without having regard to the cost-of-living index in such countries. But even if it is true, as far as African people are concerned, it is irrelevant. Our complaint is not that we are poor by comparison with people in other countries, but that we are poor by comparison with white people in our own country, and that we are prevented by legislation from altering this imbalance.- Nelson Mandela, 20 April 1964

Legislation in South Africa still prevents poor people from altering the imbalance. Everyone may have a vote, all people are part of a democratic state, but there is endless evidence to show that from the various sectors of society from healthcare, education, land rights, security, housing and more-  inequality along the lines of race remains to exist. 

I would like to share one of my personal favourite quotes from Sir Nelson Mandela:

“A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.”

Please think deeply about what International Mandela Day means to you. You have the gift of reading and writing!

 

Positivity is Power

I am struck this Friday afternoon, by how fast time has flown since I have been here. I have met some wonderful people, and experienced some truly inspiring things.

I appreciate that my posts are becoming hectic and depressing, so apologies if you are not enjoying them. However, there are too many important aspects to the multitude of dimensions of oppression that need to be discussed. Power: a concept that so many people in South Africa identify with yet feel as though they do not have.

Power, can’t always be found where you expect to find it most. Not in your position, your voice, your vote or your bodies. The feeling of powerlessness, in a country that is too expensive to afford to live in safely yet cheap enough to die very fast.

I realise that my last post expressed guilt as a way of showing how privileged people cope with power that have and do not necessarily want. But what is the way people cope with powerlessness? How do you empower yourself when everything around your circumstances look destined to leave you with powerlessness?

Saying NO, is an incredible power. To turn around and say NO. I do not conform, I will not be forced, I won’t allow you to do this to me and I shall stand up strong for my rights. If you are outweighed in power militarily, you are putting yourself at risk to get shot. Many have died this way.

I went to Bonteheuwel where Ashley Kriel was born and lived, where I met his family and young people who were there to celebrate his life. An image and memorial of him was pasted to the walls and the community watched it go up. I was far more emotional about this event than I anticipated. A 20 year old coloured boy, 27 years ago, still attracts young people to celebrate his life, rap about him, talk about him, shout about the struggle and express their frustration still to this day. Ashley Kriel is relevant. Still to this day.

What struck me is what one young person shouted as he was talking:

How come we have 20 churches, 3 schools, 1 hospital, 1 police station and 20 drug houses?

Gangsterism affects every corner of the world that has poverty. I have seen a lot of it at home in London. The frustration and powerlessness of people in the community to be free from crime is not as simple as you might think. It is not that easy to just say NO. Especially when people with guns know where you and your family live if you don’t comply. Especially if they know you are too poor and disadvantaged to escape. 

The unification of people to commemorate this event that allowed me to watch them dance, sing an express themselves in the most beautiful way- was a blessing. It reminded me of the community work I have done at home with people with disabilities, young people, as I am sure happens all over the world in areas where they are faced with powerlessness.

It isn’t idealistic its scientific. Positive thinking, attracts positive ideas. Positive ideas, attracts positive action. If young people that feel powerless, create their own ideas of the positive things they can do, magic things can and do happen. Community grassroots organisations are the key to positive power.

People coming together in solidarity as friends, family, community members- perhaps music, dance, food and all these other things that transcend cultures, is one way of saying NO to oppression that people find themselves in. A revolution won’t happen overnight. We are here, we are smiling, we are celebrating, and you can take us out of our own homes and leave us to be governed by gangsters with force- but no one has the power to take our spirit down.

One young person saying no to drugs is a success of the community, not of government. It is important to acknowledge the difference.

‘Krumping’ is a symbolic form of dance that is used to muster feelings of power. Watch this incredible video.

 

Guilt Breeds Greed

International Mandela Day, the very first one since he passed is nearly here.

The idea is to do something of benefit to those around you on the day, inspired by Mandela’s 90th birthday celebration in London’s Hyde Park in 2008 where he said:

“It is time for new hands to lift the burdens. It is in your hands now.”

There is an overwhelming international emotional support for this man even from those that have never even visited South Africa to see his homeland for themselves. Here in South Africa I have learnt everyone is encouraged to spend 67 minutes of this day to others. Various events, gigs, activities and ideas are breaking out all around the city for people in Cape Town to take part in.

Before you book your ticket to a free screening of another filmed version of Mandela’s book and life to celebrate this day- perhaps you will ask yourself some honest questions.

Why are some of us born into one class and others into another?

During my time here in this visit and the last I made in 2009, it is evident now to everyone that knows me that Khayelitsha has affected me deeply. It is a place where I have been truly horrified at the complete disregard for human life by others. There is a story I would like to share, to illustrate a point that I would like to make about privilege, guilt, shame and ultimately, personal responsibility.

Imagine a scenario I once found myself in, when I met a young woman born in the same year as me but in the township of Khayelitsha. She was holding a child that was crying, living in a shack with siblings to feed and a small stove to attend to. I didn’t see anyone with her and I don’t think she had hot water or electricity where she lived; yet she had maturity and emotional intelligence that intimidated me. After an exchange of smiles, as I walked away I felt the instant urge to go back to her. I felt conscious of my skin colour, my British accent, my educated English language, my clothes, my phone and devices that are insured in my bag and I wanted to say sorry for it but in that moment…I just didn’t care. I didn’t want any of it anymore.

Before I had established in my own heart and mind what I was feeling to put a label on it for me to deal with, there were times I would fantasise about what I could do with the feelings that I had.

This girl that I saw, my age, must have things in common with me. Maybe if I went back to her we could find something a joke and laugh together. If she would let me, I could make this child laugh too and help her make it stop crying. We could look for food and she could teach me how to cook the dishes she makes so I could help her. Maybe, if I give her all my things she wouldn’t have to put herself in danger trying to source income. Maybe, I could teach her some things I know so she could write. That means I will have to stay a lot longer. Perhaps, then I would need to get some of my things sent here for us to share like my computer, my books, my jewellery and clothes. That is pretty valuable stuff and this place isn’t very secure so we would have find somewhere to live so I should probably find us both a house…it goes on.

If I dreamt up this solution and justified it to myself somehow, it would help. I have played this scenario in my head a thousand times to try and stop myself breaking down crying. I have this feeling a lot, when I see young mothers holding their children with HIV. When I get told that some boys that I saw in 2009 have been taken out of the township they were in, fallen into drug crime never to be found or seen by me again. Expressions of the feelings that I have about this overwhelming crisis are so confusing sometimes I just can’t think where to begin.

The reason I am disclosing this personal information openly here; is because I know I am not the only one that has felt like this. There is a stigma around feeling ‘depressed’ or guilty for being privileged. No matter what doctors tell you, anti-depressants are certainly not the answer for coping with it.

It doesn’t make sense that I have things she doesn’t. I didn’t ask for it, I barely earnt it; I just have it. There is nothing to suggest on this planet, I deserve it more than anyone else. I see a girl that could be me, I could drive past her everyday, but for whatever reasons I just don’t understand, I have this life and she has that one. I don’t deserve the things that I have and the more people that tell me not to feel guilty about it the more I just do. I am a descendant of the most oppressive force that destroyed the planet- the British Empire is in my blood. I was born in the UK. I had access to so many things that people here could only dream of. If, I was a white Afrikaner however, whose parents or grand parents were in support of the National Party- I think I might feel it even worse. I might even become neurotic with guilt and shoot my girlfriend in the head whilst she is in the bathroom. Its possible. The acute gap between rich and poor is so painfully vast it can be harmful to people that live here psychologically.

White guilt: a real living thing. It breathes and exists in South African society, but not just here its everywhere in the world you go. The gated communities of paranoia, the resistance and caution to integrate, the parents that hold their children back from mixing with other children; is from a very real fear. It isn’t racism, its what won’t just go away because of a democracy. Fear, that erupts in even the simplest circumstances like a shopping trip a business exchange or a young person asking you for food on the street.

What do we do when we are conscious of our privilege yet trapped inside its life? De-sensitisation makes it manageable. If we desert all our privilege and left it all behind to live in the townships, that would not be a solution that solves everything. It might help, but how? I don’t think anyone has the answer to this but I know that many must have thought about it.

An anti-apartheid Afrikaner: “What am I supposed to do? Send my children to go to school in the townships?” a very honest question many ask themselves. You can guess the obvious answer to it, as would any parent. Children get enrolled to schools by parents with the intention to give them the best start in life. If you see where some children have to go to school…the feeling of guilt continues to rot in the pit of the stomach; the hidden, toxic manifestation of apartheid that people still experience to this day.

There are many reasons that I wanted to highlight this topic but I do have one main concern; what is the human response to guilt on a large scale? If not accepted and dealt with accordingly, from what I have seen and experienced so far it can breed. Sometimes with very grave consequences. More stereotypes, more classifications, more justifications, more alienation, wider geographic and personal separation and inevitably deeper, further oppression. The people that live in Khayelitsha are forced to live there and it is important to acknowledge that it is not their problem it is yours as well. You don’t get told about it on mainstream media, but they are there protesting right now.

What are you going to do on July 18th?